The following post was written by SPICE student Katherine Burgess, as part of her German Culture and Communication course. In this course, students are asked to keep a diary of their experiences in Germany. Faculty members Dr. Nick Bowman and Dr. Jaime Banks select a few passages of these dairies (with the student's permission) and share those here.
On June 12th, the day I left for this trip, a man entered into a busy, gay nightclub – Pulse – in Orlando, FL and opened fired. People frantically screaming for help, but none would come for almost three hours. Victims fell to the ground, bodies filled with bullets, but the gunman just kept shooting…
Forty-nine innocents killed, and many more injured because of the simple fact that many of them identified as members of the LGBTQ community. This was a crime of hate and terror that sent shockwaves through almost every person in the world, this is especially true for those of the LGBTQ community who lost some of their own. I lost some of my own. Though I didn’t personally know any of the victims from that night, I felt as if I had lost friends, lovers, and fellow activists. Though I didn’t know of them, I couldn’t help but look at my own partner and our friends who also identified as LGBTQ or a variation of the such, and think “it could have been us.” On a college campus where the community is typically very accepting, you forget the harsh reality that there are many people who do not want you; who do not think you deserve love or even life; who think you are an abomination. The Orlando massacre was a cold, hard reminder of this. The brutal massacre left the LGBTQ community at a loss, a loss for security in even our safest places and places of solidarity. The attack was not just an attack on the people in Pulse, it was an attack on the entire LGBTQ community.
On the plane ride over from the US to Germany and the entirety of my time being over here I keep trying to wrap my head around what happened. How people could hate me/us so much having never spoken to me or my partner or my best friend. How can you think I deserve to die because I love another woman? I struggled trying to come to some emotional understanding to cope with this tragedy in my community. What I found here in Europe was more than I ever could have hoped for…support. In both Erfurt and Amsterdam, I found memorials for the 49 victims of the Orlando Massacre, and these two sites of commemoration has had a lingering effect on me. Seeing how tragedy has effected not only the families of the Orlando victims, and the LGBTQ community in the U.S but also the lives of people so far away in places like Erfurt and Amsterdam is extraordinary. Because of the massacre, I do feel significantly less safe since the massacre, but there was something uplifting about seeing how so many people around the world are standing with the Orlando victims and their families. These memorials gave me hope.
 |
| A memorial to those killed in the Orlando shootings, in Amsterdam. |
The memorial site in Erfurt was simple with two rainbow flags and candles carefully placed outside of the Anger Mall with a little over a dozen people standing around with flags and signs. Everyone stood around as if waiting for something to happen, but they remained silent and focused. Perhaps they were waiting for someone to come speak, I wasn’t able to stay and find out. However, maybe the anticipation in their eyes were simply wondering when the killings and hate and terror against our community will stop. I’m perhaps reaching with that last bit, but it is what I am thinking when I see the memorials.
 |
| A memorial to those killed in Orlando, in Erfurt, Germany. |
The memorial in Amsterdam was much more elaborate with well over a hundred flowers and candles, photos, and messages for the families of the victims. While there were no people standing around, I could only imagine what the gathering must have been like. Were people silent, were they hugging, holding hands? Did they have the LGBTQ pride rainbow flag flying high?
The memorials, as previously stated gave me hope, it made me feel included and optimistic about the future. The memorials also showed me the same things for the communities here in Erfurt and Amsterdam. Even through hate, we stand strong, together with love oozing out of every pore until we are finally treated like human beings and not something people so easily cast aside or kill off. I hope to see more of these memorials during my time in Europe, I know there is one in Berlin and I will search for it because I’m sure it will be just as magnificent as the ones I’ve already seen.
No comments:
Post a Comment